Take it easy and don’t get too excited: This is not a collection of tips on how to get waisted, it’s just the opposite:
If you’re young and don’t have a personal or religious problem with alcohol, then the truth is that you’ll eventually drink some. Depending on your entourage, even a lot of: You’ll go to parties where people drink beer, whiskey, wine or others. You’ll end up seeing guys running naked in the backyard, girls throwing their drunken guts out, or even – God forbid – teenagers falling into alcoholic coma. You DON’T want to be one of them. Being dead drunk may seem exciting for an US 21 year old going in a bar with his first REAL ID card, but it’s NOT.
Like most guys around, I occasionally get to a bar with a bunch of friends, talking, joking, and drinking beers. I’ve even had my 18′th birthday in a bar(yes, it’s legal in most countries but the US), my college graduation and most special events. In my entire life, I only got sick two times because of drinking too much beer. I’ve never fallen unconscious, I was always able to walk back home, most frequently soberer than my friends.
The following tips come from my feeble experience, some of them were taught to me by my father when I first went to a party, some of them by my friends, some of them it’s just stuff I learned around. So… how can you survive an alcohol drinking party with just enough soberness not to feel bad, sick, or fall prey to embarrassing events?
- Tip 1. Never go drink on an empty stomach
I told you I got sick twice from too much drinking. To be honest, though, I didn’t drink that much. Both times, the real reason was that I hadn’t eaten anything before getting to the party. No, chips, peanuts and other tiny snacks are not FOOD. Alcohol absorption is increased by hunger, you get more dizzy from one beer on an empty stomach feels than from two on a full one.
- Tip 2. You decide how much you drink, not your friends
It’s not a contest. You DON’T need to drink all the beers your friends give you. Not all men/women are born equal. Some hold their liquor better than others. If you start feeling bad, but your friends insist to keep drinking, just STOP. Go drink some juice or water instead. This applies especially to skinny people – alcohol absorption is dependent on the body structure/weight, which also means generally girls are less alcohol resistant than boys. (though I’ve met plenty of exceptions as well)
- Tip 3. Make it last longer
Nobody likes it short. If you finish your beer in a minute you’ll be the one not drinking while the others do, and you’ll feel compelled to get a new one. So, instead, make it last longer. Talk, take a sip, talk some more, eat some chips, talk some more. A cool tip one Englishman taught me was to mix beer and sprite – one bottle of beer, one of sprite, mixed 50/50 in one glass. It obviously lasts twice as long, yet you drink the same amount of alcohol. Your friends will not even notice.
- Tip 4. Don’t mix the drinks and always eat between them
This is also well known – don’t drink strong liquor(whiskey) followed by beer, by champagne, by strong liquor, by beer, etc. You’ll get drunk, faster and uglier. You’ll get sick. So, don’t: never alternate drinks. At parties around here, for instance, we’d drink the stronger liquors(martini, whiskey and such) as an appetizer, then we’d eat the hors-d’oeuvres, followed by wine with the main course. If it takes longer, it would be followed by snacks and beer. In the end, if the case, the sweet wine/sparkling goes with the cake. Notice the rule? Don’t go back, and always eat between different drinks.
- Tip 5. Oily food – less alcohol absorption
An oily esophagus/stomach absorbs less alcohol. This is a tip for the hard-core drunkards, but they probably know it already.
- Tip 6. When dizzy, take a break
After three-four half-a-litter pints and not enough snacks in between I’d get dizzy and start having problems with equilibrium. It’s time for a break – walk out in fresh air, get some water on my face, stay a while in a quieter place. There’s no harm in it – just tell your buds you went to the loo.
- Tip 7. When feeling sick, go throw up
If you didn’t follow through the previous tips, you may eventually feel really bad. The room is spinning, you feel a bit like wanting to throw up, only not quite so. The first time it happened it ruined the party for me. I would just sit in a corner, trying to clear my head and feel better. No success. Luckily, someone with more experience helped me – I went to the toilet and forced myself to throw up(one finger down the throat). After rejecting the alcohol in excess, and after freshing up, you’ll feel a lot better.
These are some of the tips I’d give to my boy(if I ever have one) when he’d go to his first parties. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, knowing this kind of stuff is what growing up is all about. If you have other tips you want to share with us, just go ahead and comment below. As always, your input is welcome.